recovery

The Difference Between Abstinence and Sobriety

by admin on May 7, 2010

I read something recently that was simple yet made sense, “if you want to stop drinking, at some point you’re going to have to stop drinking.” Seems simple enough right? But as a recovering alcoholic, I know how difficult it can be to stop drinking and stay sober. Actually, I could usually manage the stopping part, at least for a few months or even years, but it’s the staying sober part I always struggled with.

Since drinking from an early age, I really never learned how to deal with real emotions in a healthy manner. I was always the fun-loving and happy-go-lucky kid/guy and thought I had a pretty high self-esteem. However, for most of my teens and young adult life I was just looking for the next party. After most of my friends in college moved on, graduated and got married, I was still partying as much as I could. Till one day I realized that I had become dependent on alcohol and my life had become unmanageable. I realized that my obsession with alcohol was keeping me from realizing all my dreams and causing me severe depression. So I quit drinking.

I did not have a drop of alcohol for a little over six years. Although I had stopped drinking, I wasn’t sober. You may be wondering what the difference is… maybe the best way to give you an idea of the difference is in this statement, “sober up a horse thief and you’ve still got a horse thief.” Meaning that even though you take away the alcohol, there are (in most cases) underlying issues which are either numbed by the years of alcohol abuse or the reason for drinking in the first place.

The difference between abstinence and sobriety, for me, is abstinence utilizes total self-will and sobriety uses a recovery program and all the things available to me to stay sober. Something I realized when drinking was that I suffered from alcohol depression. As a result of my drinking, I was living a life I was not proud. Even though I may have stopped drinking, I was still feeling guilt and remorse for the years of self-neglect while drinking. Sobriety involves working a recovery program which for me involves developing a more spiritual life. This new way of living helped me deal with my depressive emotions and learn how to accept myself totally for who I am.

As a recovering alcoholic, there is no guarantee that I will never drink again, but as long as I continue to grow spiritually and work a recovery program, I have a higher chance of maintaining long-term sobriety. Abstinence is simply removing the alcohol yet I’m still left with myself and all of the struggles that come with life. True sobriety gives me the tools I need to love and accept myself and learn how to live life to the fullest without drugs or alcohol.

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Finding Serenity from Calamity

by admin on January 10, 2010

For years growing up I wanted to believe in something… something besides Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. As a child, I would sit in trees for hours, watching all the birds and the clouds floating by. I was inspired by the vastness of the universe and all the things that it could hold. Then, when I was around fifteen, I discovered alcohol.

For the next twenty years I would search for my place in life. And alcohol was always right there with me. At which point I became an alcoholic, I’m not sure, but the realization was made pretty early in my twenties. At one point, I remember having this sinking feeling in my soul that no matter what I accomplished in life, I would always be left unsatisfied. One thing I realize now, I had “having fun” confused with happiness. My life, while addicted to king alcohol, was full of calamity.

Deep down, it seems that everyone wants to believe in some power greater than themselves; in some universal life force that connects all living things. For most of my life, I wanted to believe in a power greater than myself, but I lived as if I was the center of the universe. What I lacked was some type of spiritual guidance and a reason to live besides drinking alcohol and having fun.

At the age of 36, after years of trying to get sober, I finally accepted the fact that I was an alcoholic and that I needed to learn about treating alcoholism, my alcoholism. So I entered a 28 day rehab center, actually it was the third time I had tried rehab, but this time I was doing it for me!

One of the most important things I have learned in recovery is how to find happiness in yourself. Once I learned how to love myself, I found that everything I need to be happy is already inside of me! Prior to embracing recovery, everything seemed like a major traumatic event, my life was full of calamity. After years of working on a spiritual program of recovery, I’m now able to match calamity with serenity. I’ve finally found something to believe in; myself and the spiritual power of the universe in which I live.

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