Women aren’t the only ones who suffer with menopause. The men in their lives are also impacted in a very significant way. Change of life can be one of the most stressful things a couple has to endure in the history of their marriage. This isn’t only because some of the changes are so unpleasant, like menopause night sweats for instance, its also because the process goes on for so long. Ten years of turmoil are not unusual and the process may go on for fifteen years in some cases.
It’s necessary for men to understand that menopause is not a disease but a fundamental transition. Your woman is changing, not sick, and she will never again be the way she was. Some of the physical signs of menopause, like night sweats and hot flashes, will eventually come to an end, but many of the changes will be permanent.
The mood swings associated with menopause are a good example of this. They are caused partly by hormone imbalances, chemical changes in the body. However they are equally caused by psychological factors as the woman goes through the process of re-evaluating all the factors in her life. This is her last chance to achieve the life she really wants and she needs to get it right.
Think about it for a minute. If there were children, they have probably left home or have one foot out the door. She has probably been following the same routines and putting up with the same stuff for twenty to thirty years. Even if there was nothing wrong with the routines, at the very least she’s bored and wants to do something new. She wants to rid her life of anything that isn’t fulfilling anymore, and guys, that might include you. Especially if you want things to go on the same way they have. While many of the symptoms of menopause are caused physically others are caused by a sense of: been there, done that, what else ya got?
In many cases, when she says you’re in a rut, she’s right and you should pay attention instead of digging in your heels. She will be bearing down on you to make some fundamental changes and a lot of her suggestions/demands will be right on the money.
If you are the husband of a menopausal woman, realize that this change is for all the marbles. Many marriages don’t survive and maybe a lot of them shouldn’t. You have to be aware that this is serious and it affects both of you. Don’t just right it off as woman’s stuff or you may find yourself with an empty bed, doing your own laundry. This process is about a lot more than just menopause night sweats and bitchiness guys. Take it seriously.