I read something recently that was simple yet made sense, “if you want to stop drinking, at some point you’re going to have to stop drinking.” Seems simple enough right? But as a recovering alcoholic, I know how difficult it can be to stop drinking and stay sober. Actually, I could usually manage the stopping part, at least for a few months or even years, but it’s the staying sober part I always struggled with.
Since drinking from an early age, I really never learned how to deal with real emotions in a healthy manner. I was always the fun-loving and happy-go-lucky kid/guy and thought I had a pretty high self-esteem. However, for most of my teens and young adult life I was just looking for the next party. After most of my friends in college moved on, graduated and got married, I was still partying as much as I could. Till one day I realized that I had become dependent on alcohol and my life had become unmanageable. I realized that my obsession with alcohol was keeping me from realizing all my dreams and causing me severe depression. So I quit drinking.
I did not have a drop of alcohol for a little over six years. Although I had stopped drinking, I wasn’t sober. You may be wondering what the difference is… maybe the best way to give you an idea of the difference is in this statement, “sober up a horse thief and you’ve still got a horse thief.” Meaning that even though you take away the alcohol, there are (in most cases) underlying issues which are either numbed by the years of alcohol abuse or the reason for drinking in the first place.
The difference between abstinence and sobriety, for me, is abstinence utilizes total self-will and sobriety uses a recovery program and all the things available to me to stay sober. Something I realized when drinking was that I suffered from alcohol depression. As a result of my drinking, I was living a life I was not proud. Even though I may have stopped drinking, I was still feeling guilt and remorse for the years of self-neglect while drinking. Sobriety involves working a recovery program which for me involves developing a more spiritual life. This new way of living helped me deal with my depressive emotions and learn how to accept myself totally for who I am.
As a recovering alcoholic, there is no guarantee that I will never drink again, but as long as I continue to grow spiritually and work a recovery program, I have a higher chance of maintaining long-term sobriety. Abstinence is simply removing the alcohol yet I’m still left with myself and all of the struggles that come with life. True sobriety gives me the tools I need to love and accept myself and learn how to live life to the fullest without drugs or alcohol.